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Sunday, September 14, 2008

something new

flowers that James surprised me with one saturday afternoon! so sweet!

one with me and the purdy flowers :D

neat shot, somewhere along the royal mile in scotland.

edinburgh castle, high upon a rocky hill, neat!

robert the bruce, close up.

wow, i know what a slacker i am!! oh well, i'm over it, hehe. so here's a little something i wrote a few months ago and a few random pics. it's short, kinda lame, so enjoy or don't, i like it regardless! :)

heaven's flowers shine so brightly and their music plays a soft symphony for all to hear. their fragrance is the sweetest perfume and their colors the most vibrant one has ever seen. i must be dreaming but i could sit among them forever for they play my hearts tune.

so there it is, make of it what you will! in other news, i almost broke down crying in church this morning but for a good reason. it was while we were singing, i don't remember what song it was, i just remember singing then listening to the congregation as we all sung. a picture flashed through my mind of us all being before the throne of the Most High God and we were singing to Him with the angels. it was a beautiful image and brought me to tears. but being the selfish person i am, i didn't want to cry in public so i snapped back to "reality" as it were and continued singing. but it reminded me of something i read recently, i really wanted to stay there in that moment.

it comes from a book called "Come Away My Beloved" Frances J. Roberts

it quotes Ezekiel 1:16 ...a wheel in the middle of a wheel.

and goes on to say this "Time is like a little wheel set within the big wheel of Eternity. The little wheel turns swiftly and shall one day cease. The big wheel turns not, but goes straighforward. Time is your responsibility---Eternity is Mine!"

then continues "The pressures of time have increased as sin has increased, and all too often My children have been found living more in the little wheel than in the big. This happens whenever the flesh is in ascendancy over the Spirit. Whenever the opposite is true, you have always experienced a fleeting but glorious freedom from the racing little wheel. Is it not true? You have found the Spirit always unhurried, and you have marveled to find how oblivious you had been to the passage of time whenever you have been truly in the Spirit.
You can live here as much as you choose. You can enjoy this rest and disengage yourself from the little wheel as often and as long as you desire. You will lose nothing and gain much. Try it as a therapy for your physical body. It will most certainly be a tremendous source of energy and vitality for your spiritual life!"

i believe i left the "little wheel" for an all too brief moment this morning at church. granted that's not the first time i've experienced something like that (please don't think i'm bragging, that's not my intention) but it is the first time i've felt comfortable sharing it with more than just my mom or dad. it was a beautiful image, all of us before the throne of God, praising and singing to Him! glorious! i don't always pray in this manner, but one of the chaplain's wives here says that when she prays she tries to picture herself kneeling, praying at the feet of Jesus or before the throne. it's humbling. try it the next time you pray and see for yourself.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

A Good Steward

I have been struggling a lot lately with being a good steward of the things my God has given me. I believe as a Christian that I should be aware of what goes on around me in this world and to do things to help take care of this place God has given me to live, like recycling, etc. I don't believe global warming exists because I believe there is nothing new under the sun, so that's not my reasoning behind wanting to take care of the earth. However recycling is not what I've been struggling with either as it's mandatory in Germany to recycle so no problem there! :)

I have been trying to get my focus back to being God first above everything and lately that's been a real struggle for me. So I started reading through this book "The Pursuit of Holiness" by Jerry Bridges. It's only a seventeen chapter book but so far it's been a good reminder of what my focus should be and how I should go about keeping it pure and such. Well one of the chapters (chapter 11) I read this week was on Holiness in Body and I have HUGE issues with that in my life because I LOVE food! Not only do I love food but I also love a lot of the WRONG foods, junk foods, chips, chocolate, cookies, cake, ice cream, etc. the list could go on for miles!! I was really convicted when reading that chapter because eating and not eating has been a battle in my life for a long time. Now please don't miss understand me, I am not bulimic (any of you that know me, know that I HATE throwing up, eeewww!) or anorexic. But if I had to pick between the two to say which I was closer to becoming at one point in my life it would be anorexic. Thankfully though my body physically won't allow that as I have low blood sugar and my body gets WAY outa wack when I don't eat. So having shared that, food is a struggle for me. I like to eat all the "bad" stuff as well as all the good stuff. The "bad" stuff is just easier to get to, if you know what I mean, as generally you have to prepare the good stuff and the "bad" stuff comes prepackaged!

So over the last few months I've been trying to eat more balanced meals with fruits and veggies, etc. and trying really hard to cut back on my weakness, sweets. I was convicted though because I've not been really good about cutting out my sugar intake, I still kept cookies or ice cream or something sweet in the house for me to have as a late night snack, NOT A GOOD IDEA because I always get hungry at night! God has showed me that I need to be a better steward of what I put into my body because He created me and my body is a temple to Him and I should care for it as such feeding it the right way and working it out to stay healthy.

Unfortunately my reasons for wanting to eat right and stay fit where to keep up with the worlds standards on how I should look to "truly" be beautiful and those are definitely the wrong reasons, so I was convicted there also. It's hard for that not to be my focus as that standard is all around me and when I find myself falling into the trap of "I have to look a certain way" I stop and pray for God to change my attitude behind my actions for wanting to be healthy and look nice. Plus I want to be comfortable in my own body, which I'm SO not right now and by comfortable I literally mean comfortable. I hate wearing shorts or skirts (not just in the summer) because my legs rub together and it HURTS, I can't stand it, it's uncomfortable! Also I just want to look nice for James, I don't know if those are wrong reasons but it is the truth. So I continue to pray about it and lift it up to God and listen for His voice on what I should eat for the day and when to work out and am trying not to worry about the rest, leaving it in His capable hands to shape me how He wants me and to be satisfied with that result. "I will give thanks to Thee, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made, wonderful are Thy works and my soul knows it very well." (Psalm 139:14) One of my favorite Psalms not just that verse but the whole Psalm!

I do wonder sometimes though if women's struggle with food and body stuff comes from Eve being tempted with food and falling into that temptation....something to think about. I don't really know why I'm sharing any of this, I guess it's just been on my mind lately, it also feels good to get it of my chest, ya know? Anyways, I'll stop rambling now! Cheers!


My dear sister Krissie passed this along to me and I wanted to share it with you all because I have felt the same way this woman has a lot of the time since James left. Granted our situations differ slightly as my husband is a Soldier not a Marine (their deployments are a little less than a year I believe, though they can be longer as it is the military) and we do not have small children in the mix and for that I'm thankful though it does make this journey a bit more lonely. I have and still do struggle with the same things she mentions in her blog post and even though I don't know this woman I was blessed nonetheless by her words which follow. Thank you Krissie for sharing this with me.

I well remember the day I learned my husband--my Marine--would soon be heading to Iraq.

For the first three years of our marriage, he'd been in a unit doing a job that kept him from being deployed, so while we knew that as a Marine he'd most likely be heading to that sandy spot at some point, it remained something we thought of as "sometime in the future." I remember the quick catch in my breath the moment I realized that "the future" had caught up with "the now."

Shortly after our second son was born, we embarked on this, our first deployment. As I watched the buses pull away early that morning, tears streaming down my cheeks as I helped our then twenty-month-old son find Daddy amidst a sea of waving hands, I caught my breath again. What was ahead? What should I even expect? How on earth would we get through these months and months without him?

I spent the first few days feeling a bit numb. I was unsure what to do with myself, even in the near-chaos of having two very little children. I soon found that going to bed early, hoping to sleep away some of the evening time loneliness, only brought hours of tossing and turning. I began sleeping diagonally across our bed to take up empty space. I searched through my recipe box for meals that could be pared down to feed only me and a toddler. Still, fish sticks, macaroni and cheese, and burritos filled our dinner plates far too often those first few weeks. Though typically outgoing, I found I was suddenly unsure of myself in groups of friends. When I headed to church for the first time alone, I had to laugh all the way from the car to the building-I made quite the spectacle trying to juggle an infant seat, two diaper bags, my purse, my Bible, a plate of muffins, all while holding my toddler's hand through the parking lot. A few minutes later I was ferociously blinking back tears as I looked for a single seat in the auditorium--a fresh reminder I was on my own now.

It didn't take long to realize I'd harbored a whole slew of misconceptions regarding deployment over the past several years.

I'd assumed that while the first month or two was so hard, the loneliness would subside a bit as we all got used to being apart. A friend whose husband was also deployed told me not to expect it to get any better. She was right.

It's been a little over six months now since that day my husband headed to the other side of the globe. I miss him more now than I did the day after he left. Yes, I've stopped expecting to hear the door open in the evening and I'm used to cutting recipe ingredients in half, but the loneliness isn't one bit less intense.

Thankfully, staying in contact at this point isn't nearly as complicated as it was when the war started. We're able to hear from my husband frequently on the phone and we've even seen him via video feed twice. The boys color him pictures and he sends them "Daddy movies."

I think most military wives would agree that the evenings are the hardest. Once the little ones are asleep, and the busyness of the day has come to a close, there are still several hours to fill. Silence--when it's the only choice there is--doesn't always make the best company.

That first day my husband learned he'd be heading into the war zone, I felt my heart sink. The emotions I experienced were raw and intense, and I looked ahead, anticipating what I imagined I'd feel when he really did leave. By the time we actually reached his departure, I had a myriad of ideas and expectations for what was ahead.

And then it happened. He left. And it was nothing like I'd imagined.

In my mind's eye I'd seen ahead to the nights when both children would be awake at the same time and there is only one parent here to get both back to sleep. I'd known both boys would have a hard time without a daddy home. I knew I would too.

And yet, when I'd looked ahead, I hadn't seen Jesus there waiting for me. I wasn't experiencing His grace while just imagining what was to come. When our two-year-old cries in the night for his daddy and my heart is breaking, I feel my Lord's arms wrap around both of us, holding us close. When I wake up in the morning, unsure how to face another day and the loneliness is eating away at me, God gives grace like I'd never imagined. When my husband calls and listens over the phone to the boys playing, I know we've been given a blessing simply through technology. When I watch the news--which is purposely not often--and hear of a bombing in Iraq, the way God's peace replaces the initial fear is nothing short of miraculous.

He's also shown me His love through the wonderful people around me. People who have told me they were praying for me--and they really do. The friends and family who called and kept us busy while we made the initial transition. People who still take time to ask how we're doing, call, email or send notes of encouragement.

The most helpful thing of all has been when friends or family have simply called and informed me that they're going to help. I don't always know exactly what I need, and yet through many different people, God has provided what I'm not even sure of myself. People like the mother and daughter who have set aside one day a month to give me a day "off." Friends who call and say, "Hey, I'm at Starbucks. What would you like?" When we're sick--which has been, strangely, quite often this year--I've been surrounded by friends and family who come to my rescue, with medicine, diapers, food, or coming to stay with us when I've been too sick to get off the couch. I've even had blogging buddies send boxes to my husband's unit. I am unbelievably thankful for these people. God prompted them to do something... and they just did it.

Sadly, there are military spouses all over the place without a support system like the one I've been blessed with. Some are the families of reservists, some are stationed at military bases far from home. It makes me realize how many times I just assumed someone had help and didn't offer it myself, or forgot to hug a wife whose husband just left. I've been guilty of being "too busy," or imagining that a phone call wouldn't mean much. Of course nothing can take the place of a deployed spouse, but reminding the family at home that they aren't entirely alone can make all the difference in the world.

We're now getting closer and closer to the homecoming of our Marine. It will mean a whole new transition as we get used to having him around again. I've become accustomed to having things be my way around here! Our two-year-old has been missing his daddy more than usual lately and will be thrilled to see him. I just have a feeling he's not going to be as sure about the whole listening to Daddy thing. And the baby? He gets to actually find out just who this daddy-person is we keep telling him about.

To say we're excited would be the understatement of the century

Wednesday, April 16, 2008


Mom and I went to Kaiserslautern (K-town) last weekend and got home this past Monday. A short visit but I think mom got to do some of the things she wanted to do, like get a cuckoo clock, while we were there and I believe she had a good time. I showed her around our old stomping grounds, where we used to live, eat, shop and the like so that was fun...and a little sad for me but I always enjoy eating the food in K-town, one of the things I miss the most actually! We also went to the castle that's in Landstuhl, one of the surrounding towns of Kaiserslautern, I forget the name of it now but it's a neat castle and the only one in the area that I knew I could get to by wandering a little bit! I think she liked it, it was her first castle experience! Unfortunately I wasn't able to book a Rheine River Cruise for us while we were there so we may have to try for it next time 'cause I think she would enjoy that also!

We also weren't able to go on the underground Bamberg tour 'cause...well 'cause the military rarely gives you all the info you need in order to do something...but I wasn't surprised that we weren't able to do it.

Anyways, our next trip will be to Italy, starting this weekend and we'll be there for most of next week. We'll be in Rome for most of it, I think, with a day trip to Pompeii somewhere in there and maybe another day trip to somewhere else since we will be there for a while, I dunno, we'll see!

James is still doing mostly okay, I think the environment and people he has to deal with on a daily basis are starting to wear thin on him. He says it very much like the movie "Groundhog Day" there so please pray that things start to go a little better for him, I mean it's already bad enough that he has to be there and that his time WILL NOT be reduced down to 12 months unless God decides to have mercy on us and give us a miracle to bring him home. I know he's feeling the loss of their Chaplain as he (the chaplain) had to come back here to care for his wife, Heather Jackson, who is very much improved. He was a good buddy for James and one of the only Christian men that deployed with him, so I know that's hard on him too. So aside from all that and missing me, he says he's doing okay, but keep the prayers coming and as always they are very much appreciated, thanks.

I, on the other hand, have been struggling quite a bit lately. Crying a lot more these days and constantly fighting the feelings of depression that try to and sometimes overtake me. I never expected a separation to be so difficult, I mean I didn't think it would be easy by any means, but this totally sucks! *sigh* Well, all I can do is pray and hope that God allows the time to pass quickly for both of us, maybe He'll grant us that at least, but who knows. So that's the latest on my side, I hope you all are doing well, know that we love and miss you and can't wait for the day when we will be back on real American soil ('cause technically speaking I'm on American soil right now, but it's not the same as where you are) with you!

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

A Couple of Pics

Here are a couple of pictures that James sent me today.

This one is of all the officers in his unit. James is on the left side, somewhat behind the white chick and there's a white dude poking his head out next to his shoulder.

And this one is just of James next to the sign where he was in Kuwait.

So not really much to update on today, James is still doing well, they should have internet up and running in their rooms within the next few weeks. He says the work environment (for lack of a better word) is much better there than it is here so at least right now it's not as rough on him as it is here sometimes...with the exception of the whole war zone deal...oh well. He basically does the same thing he did here only he doesn't get to come home to me at the end of the day, which sucks for both of us. :( So he's doin' alright.

Well, mom and are might venture a walking tour of downtown Bamberg tomorrow with a possible night tour of underground Bamberg. Apparently there are catacombs somewhere downtown...I never knew that could be fun. Hopefully we'll be able to do both without it raining on us! Aside from that we have a tentative trip to Kaiserslautern (K-town) planned for this weekend. I'll show mom around our old stomping grounds and see if we can maybe catch a tour or two while we are in the area and we'll DEFINITELY be eating some good food while there!! So should be a fun trip if we can make it happen! I'll be sure to post some pictures if we are able to do any of these things so keep checking back for updates! K, that's all for now.

Sunday, April 06, 2008

The Latest and Greatest

Captain Geishaker and Captain Jardin - Jim and James. Yeah, the other guy's name is James too...but MY James is SOOOOOOOOO much BETTER!!!!!!!!! This is from a meet and greet dinner they had with a sister unit a few days ago. My man is so handsome, even in a war zone!

A wild camel in Kuwait...James said there was a lot of them just wandering around...neat!

Okay so the latest news from James is that they are slowly but surely taking over all the duties of the unit they were sent to replace. Which basically means all of the "old" unit people are only coming into the offices once or twice a day and James' unit is doing the rest of the work! They are staying pretty busy there which will hopefully make the time pass quickly for them so I guess that's good. I wish it would pass quickly here but it's slugging along. :P Oh well. Also James apparently cut his pinkie finger (I think on his right hand...?), with a knife he was given as a gift from one of my friends. It's not serious, his finger will heal, but James told me he could tell it was a deep cut so, pray that it heals quickly so it doesn't bother him! Of course when he told me about it I "demanded" that he go tell his boss what happened and tell him (his boss) I want James home IMMEDIATELY so that I could tend to his wounds and since they would take SO long to heal that he wouldn't be able to return to Iraq.....ever. Well, it least it made James laugh. :)

Anyways, I think that's it for now. My mom gets here Tuesday and I'm STOKED!!!! Not looking forward to the drive to and from the airport but it's definitely worth it to be able to have her here with me! I think we are gonna run ourselves into the ground with all the stuff we're gonna do but, YAY!!!! Check back for all our crazy adventures!

Saturday, March 29, 2008


James has made it safely to Iraq, yay! Well, I mean, not yay that he's there but yay that he made it safely! Okay, so there's not a whole lot to update on but he's at his final destination unless the army decides to be retarded and move him, which is actually possible 'cause they are retarded a lot of the time. His latest report is that there are actually some green plants around where he's at! He says there is a big palm tree right outside his hooch (his own little space/room/thing) so that will be "nice" for him, at least it's not all brown. He also told me that he's already started to collect goodies for the both of us which is neat, so far all I know that he's got is some British Army souvenirs! Fun times, well not really but gotta make the most of it I suppose. BTW, James says hello to all!

Anyways, I'm sorry if I worried any of you with my last post, I tend to be a bit dramatic but it helps me to cope so don't be surprised if you see more posts like it! :) Just one way I deal with things, I'm really okay. I'm not gonna do anything crazy or stupid, I mean, I want to be around to see James again so no worries, please! All of what was in that post is still true, I really don't know how to deal with this situation but I'm managing and staying busy. And I also still don't understand why God is allowing this separation but again I'm managing and staying busy. Like everyone else I have good days and bad days, I had them when James was here and I'll continue to have them the rest of my life. Sometimes when they come around I pray, cry and then get over it, other days I pray, cry, write (sometimes stuff like that post) and then get over it, just how I deal with things. So please don't worry, I will be fine, God is gracious and good to me and I know He'll bring James and me through this time. Until then I will keep livin' life as best as I can and pray that the time goes by quickly! :) Thanks for your continued prayers and thoughts, they are always appreciated. Love you all!

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Last Moments

Our last moments together...captured by some random dude from the public affairs office here on post.

I really like James in this one. How did I ever find a man that would love me as much as he does? Only by the grace of God.

I was trying so hard not to cry here and this guy comes along and snaps our picture then asks if it's okay if he takes our picture! I was miffed at him at the time but now I'm glad he took these of us. I miss James so much and I can't stand being here alone.

I've got everybody fooled. You all think I'm fine and doing well and I suppose it could be true but inside I feel like I'm being torn apart. I never thought it would hurt as bad as it does having him leave and he didn't even have a choice. I hate going to bed at night because I know he's not going to be there when I lie down. I don't know how to deal with this. I'm in a constant state of prayer, I guess that's good but I don't get much comfort from it. I know as the creature I'm not supposed to ask my Creator why, but I really don't understand what the point of this separation is and why it has to be for so long. And when I tell Him I don't understand the only answer I get is, "You're not meant to." What the HELL!

Okay, now that I've stopped crying and ranting. James called yesterday and we talked for a good half hour which was wonderful. He says that he and two other guys (Zach and Steve) will get together sometimes and talk about "the wives". Good stuff of course, like what we cook, stuff we say that's funny, or stuff we do, things like that. He says it's kind of a way they are coping with things. All in all and given the situation, James is doing well. He's giving himself a $100 a month allowance to spend on whatever he may need or want and is putting it on a refillable debit card that can only be used on the post (base). Anyways, that's the latest on my brave man. Thanks for all your prayers and keep 'em coming!

Sunday, March 16, 2008


Well, it's been just about a week since James left on his/our first deployment and hopefully our last. He left at about 6am last Monday morning and arrived safely at his first destination late Tuesday afternoon after their original Monday flight got delayed. So to continue the drama, one of our good friends and the wife of the Chaplain that deployed with James' unit late Tuesday evening was taken to the local German hospital and ended up in a diabetic coma with a bronchial lung infection that ended up infecting the rest of her body and organs so much so that some of them starting failing and at one point she had to be revived. I heard about all that Wednesday morning. Anyways, her name is Heather and she has two kids, Daniel (12) and Belle (3) who still don't know all the grim details of what was going on with their mom. Her husband, Scott, was flown home and got back here sometime late Wednesday evening, I believe and her parents are now here as well. She had progressively been getting better all week and I just learned this morning that she is no longer in a coma and all her vitals are normal but she is still fighting a lung infection so the are keeping her sedated and have moved her to another hospital that has doctors who specialize in the lung area. So praise God that she is doing better!

Needless to say this last week has been pretty rough. I cried when throwing out some left over "special" food that I had made for James during the last couple weeks he was here, I never thought throwing away a little bit of food would make me cry. And cried a little when doing laundry this past Friday 'cause it was the last little bit of his clothes that he wore while he was here. Yea, I know, pathetic right, well all I gotta say is YOU try dealing with a 15 month separation for the first time and knowing that your husband will be going to a war zone! :P

I do have some things to look forward to, like my mom coming in April, YAY!!! She's gonna be keepin' me busy busy for the two months that she's here. (BTW mom, I dunno if we'll be able to do all your trips on this visit but we can certainly knock out a few of them!) Then when she leaves I'll either start taking a couple of college classes or go home, haven't decided yet so we'll see. Regardless I have an idea of when I'll be seeing James again, roughly around Christmas time. I just hope and pray they change the deployments back to 12 months. I know 3 months may not seem like it would make a whole lot of difference but it really does when you are experiencing it. Anyways, I've also got a few knitting projects that I'll be working on over the next few months so that will keep me busy as well.

So far I've found a great circle of women, some from church and some from my FRG (family readiness group) that I'm comfortable enough to hang out with so they should be keeping me pretty busy too. For a lot of them this is also their first deployment so we can all get together and cry if we need to! Though I much prefer to cry alone but that's just me.

I've already talked to James twice since he's left and it's so wonderful just to hear his voice. He is doing well, he says it's like being on a long field exercise in the desert. And he has a Starbucks closer to him than I have to me and he's in the FRIGGIN' DESERT!!!!!!!!!!! Unbelievable. He's gonna send me a picture of it and I'll post it up here once he does. I'm so jealous. Oh well, such is life I suppose. Anyways, I know a lot of you are praying for us and we are both so thankful that we have you as our prayer warriors 'cause I know we'll need them. I'll keep you as posted as I can to what's goin' on with him and all that so check back every so often for updates! I love you and thanks so much for your prayers!

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Old Poems

I came across a few of my old "poems" today and thought I'd share a couple with you! The first to I actually got published though I don't know how credible the International Library of Poetry is so, I dunno, but I have both the books that they are "published" in! And the one called Forever Love is the very first poem in the book it's in, yay! ;D Okay, so anyways, here ya go, enjoy (hopefully!) :D

The Storm (this was written some time in 1998, so I was 16 or 17)

In the distance I see the sun, but there are storms all about me. The wind is so strong that even the trees shake with fear. Lightning strikes through the sky. The sound of thunder is all I hear.
Tears fall from my eyes like rain from the heavens. My path is like that of the storm, unpredictable by man. I fall to my knees and praise my God in heaven for His love of me.

Forever Love (this was written October 2, 2003 so I was 21)

I struggle with these things, my mind refuses to comprehend. How long must I wait for you with open arms and empty hands? Forever I will love.
Mt glance goes unseen by you, this pain I will not mention. You overlook my dreams and so my threshold weakens. But forever I will love.
I see it in your eyes, you knew this pain all along. You have suffered just as I and shattered are these pieces for so long. Still forever I will love.
My dreams are now reality; this pain is now my passion. Our gaze is locked forever, as you are my unspoken treasure. And forever I will love.

I don't have a name for this one but it was written the same day as Forever Love.

I cannot cry though I know all of heaven feels my pain, as the sky opens up and rains down upon me. My heart is too weak to fight the pressure of this life, is there no one I can turn to, no place I can hide?
My heart is dead and my hands are empty, I have nothing to offer You. I am broken, fallen on my knees before You calling out, "Father forgive!" Please take this breath and life within me, replace it with You that I may live.
I will soar on the wings of dawn for You are the Song that my soul loves to sing. You sacrificed Yourself for one so unworthy, one so unclean and redeemed me from the death I so much deserve.
Your love is overwhelming, Your mercy and grace I do not understand. You are the Life giver, how can I stand before You? Nothing of me can I claim for myself, all that is me has come from You.
It is You I can turn to and in You I can hide for You are my Shelter, my God, and my Peace. I am but a lost and wandering sheep without You, so be always near me, O God, my God, amen.

I'm finding as I read through some of my old writings that I was a lot more creative a few years ago than I am now...I dunno what happened. I still feel the same passions towards writing as I did then but it doesn't come nearly as easily or as frequently as it did "back then", I know like I'm really that old! ;) Anyways, maybe one day I'll be a good writer, ha! Alright well, that's all I gots for now, so laters!