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Wednesday, February 29, 2012


Tears flow from my eyes like rain from the clouds.  Why?  I was moved by this song "I love Your Love" by Enter the Worship Circle.  It's been so long since I've wanted to listen to praise music and as I was listening to other songs in my iTunes I saw the name of this song and remembered liking it and tried playing it. It said it couldn't be found and would I like to locate it, I knew exactly were to look so I found it and started playing it.  It's beautiful.  So refreshing.  I want to worship more, but I need to feed my boys. 

Thursday, February 23, 2012


So I'm not a twilight fanatic but I do enjoy the books and movies for what they are - a love story written for teenagers. My husband took me to see the newest one in theater and we recently watched it again on DVD and I have to say, I really enjoy the music and musical score in this film and in the other films. I dunno if it's just the association with the films/stories or what but I can't get this music out of my head lately.  I liken it to video game music...yes I know that sounds weird but I'll try to explain...I love playing RPGs (role playing video games) like the Final Fantasy series.  I play them because it's almost like reading a book that you get to be involved in or play through with it's own musical score.  You get to help the main characters succeed or fail (depending on the storyline) in their quest and of course there is usually some sort of love story intertwined in them.  When the story is entertaining, even if poorly written (because we all know I"m such a great authority on writing), it leaves a mark on me that is only exaggerated by the music that accompanies it.  It inspires a sense of, I dunno, excitement, I guess, for the story and characters in such a way that I want to be them or create my own story.  The music plays a monumental role in this because when I hear it it brings back all the feelings the characters went through and in a way makes me feel them too which in turn inspires me to want to recreate that for others in a story of my own.  I guess I like listening to it because it makes me feel good and takes me out of reality for a time, which is nice.  Anyways, I know that's weird but it is what it is and I'm enjoying the music for now.

Monday, February 13, 2012

The Boys

I have the cutest boys ever...

...just sayin...

Wednesday, February 08, 2012


I just realized something while talking with my husband a few days ago and then again while talking with my sister in law today. I don't know how to say it other than I "hang in there". It's what I do. Maybe that is what my calling is, to endure life by "hanging in there". I have to admit, it's not as fun as it sounds.

Here I am, wife of a seminary student who hopes to be a youth pastor one day and mother of twin 9 month old boys. My life has changed drastically in the last 3 years.

My husband got home from Iraq at the end of May 2009 after having been deployed for 15 months. In August 2009, we move back to the states (we were living in Germany). In September 2009 he starts a completely different job, military to 2 year youth ministry intern. April 2010, we go on a missions trip to Peru with our church. Early July 2010 we find out we are pregnant. Late July 2010 I have a miscarriage. Early October 2010 we find out I am pregnant again. Late October 2010, we are in a 3 way car accident, all three cars totaled, we loose the newer car we had just finished paying off. Oh and did I mention that happened as we were on our way to my first prenatal appointment? Yeah. We weren't able to make it to that appointment, so I had to reschedule for the following Monday (the accident happened on a Friday). So again, late October 2010, find out the baby was fine from the accident and not only was the baby fine but they were BOTH fine...that is when we found out it was twins. January 2011 officially find out we are having boys. March 2011 my husband decides he wants to check out a seminary in the midwest (we were living in the south at the time). Early April 2011 we drive 15 hours to check out said seminary, spend one full day sitting in classes & exploring the campus, then drive 11 hours back "home". Mid April 2011, the decision was made to move to the midwest to go to said seminary. Late April 2011, our boys were born 5 weeks early. Late July 2011, we pack up and hit the road with our boys & my mom and move to the midwest. August 2011, my husband starts seminary.

February 2012 and we are still here. I hate to say this but it's the truth, I really don't like it here. Everyone said this would be a great place for my husband to go to school and that the community here would be great for us as a family. I disagree with the latter part of that, we (or maybe it's just me) are pretty isolated even with most of our neighbors being seminary students and their families. So what did a write all of the timeline stuff for, well, I guess it's just proof to myself that I can look back on and see that, yea, I do hang in there...a lot. Bottom line, it sucks and I'm tired of it.

What a great pastor's wife I'll make, oh boy! :P