Our last moments together...captured by some random dude from the public affairs office here on post.
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I really like James in this one. How did I ever find a man that would love me as much as he does? Only by the grace of God.
I was trying so hard not to cry here and this guy comes along and snaps our picture then asks if it's okay if he takes our picture! I was miffed at him at the time but now I'm glad he took these of us. I miss James so much and I can't stand being here alone.
I've got everybody fooled. You all think I'm fine and doing well and I suppose it could be true but inside I feel like I'm being torn apart. I never thought it would hurt as bad as it does having him leave and he didn't even have a choice. I hate going to bed at night because I know he's not going to be there when I lie down. I don't know how to deal with this. I'm in a constant state of prayer, I guess that's good but I don't get much comfort from it. I know as the creature I'm not supposed to ask my Creator why, but I really don't understand what the point of this separation is and why it has to be for so long. And when I tell Him I don't understand the only answer I get is, "You're not meant to." What the HELL!
Okay, now that I've stopped crying and ranting. James called yesterday and we talked for a good half hour which was wonderful. He says that he and two other guys (Zach and Steve) will get together sometimes and talk about "the wives". Good stuff of course, like what we cook, stuff we say that's funny, or stuff we do, things like that. He says it's kind of a way they are coping with things. All in all and given the situation, James is doing well. He's giving himself a $100 a month allowance to spend on whatever he may need or want and is putting it on a refillable debit card that can only be used on the post (base). Anyways, that's the latest on my brave man. Thanks for all your prayers and keep 'em coming!
2 comments:
awww...*hugs* I hate to think of you without your other half. I have not experienced this before, so there is really nothing I can say.
The only thing I know to do, when faced with loss, is to fill up my life with LIFE. Whatever is good, lovely, noble, pure...fill up your life with those things. Along with any good thing that brings you and those around you joy!
You will make your way through this, and you will come out on the other side a stronger, fiercer Leah than you have known before. Your hubby will be so proud of you, he will not know what to do! *more hugs*
Leah my dear, you BOTH continue to be in my daily prayers and thoughts. I know you will survive this separation and perhaps it really will bring you closer together in a way that you dont even know yet. I know how hard it is, I really do, and I just want you to remember the phone line is always open, as are our doors. Should you need a vacation, We're offering a speacial, you stay free ;-) hehehe. I love you and am praying for you.
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