way crazy dream...

so i've been going through some old journals and making digital copies of them to have and they date as far back as 1998 when i was 16 and go through present day.  well i came across something this evening that i wrote in August of 2002.  it was a dream i had apparently that made enough impact for me to write it down.  you'll see why...it's totally cray cray!

August 2002 –(a dream I had) I was with a bunch of people from my church ECPC (East Cobb Presbyterian Church) and we were in this forest somewhere in Africa, I think.  There were some natives around too but we all knew each other.  We were walking around in the forest and all around people had little bonfires going for no particular reason.  Then one of the natives cries out “Sacrifice!” at the top of his lungs.  Somehow I knew I was to be the one sacrificed, so I walked towards the cliff where it was to be held.  I came out of the forest into a wide open area.  The ground before me was black, charred like someone had burned it.  It crunched beneath my feet as I walked towards the edge of the cliff.  The sky was grey like it was going to storm.  As I got closer to the cliffs edge I saw three crosses lying on the ground, they were charred like the grass around them.  I laid down on the one in the middle, not on my back but on my stomach and stretched my arms out to the length of the cross and gripped the edges.  It was then that I felt someone tying a rope around my ankles and the cross, my wrists were soon bound as well.  As this was happening, I noticed that there were two men on the crosses on either side of me that were being bound in the same manner.  At this time the wind picked up and was blowing violently as if in a storm.  The men that had bound us now pushed us over the edge of the cliff and slowly backed away yet we did not fall, the wind held us in place.  As we were suspended in the air another man walked towards us.  The clouds in the sky above us where now turning a deep shade of red but we showed no fear.  The man then cries out “Sacrifice!” over and over and over, screaming with all his might.  The wind grew more violent and the debris tore away at our skin yet we remained stationary.  The sky above us began to open up and bolts of lightning shot out all around us.  It was then that I realized there was someone else on my cross, clinging to me on my back.  His hands were out stretched holding mine, sheltering me.  The lightning then began to strike at us but I could feel none of it.  All the while the man on the cliff was still crying “Sacrifice!” Then just as quickly as it had started, the lightning stopped, there was no more debris and the red sky had faded to grey again.  The next thing I remember is lying on the ground feeling the ropes around my wrists and ankles being loosened and taken away and the man who had sheltered me being laid beside me.  His skin was black and burnt, I wept for Him, He had been my only love, My Savior.  And then I woke up.

Afraid

so i've never attempted this before but it's something called Five Minute Friday that my sis in law does over here (she's an incredible person and writer, just FYI).  there are a group of women that are a part of it and encourage one another through their writing and comments on each others writings.  the idea is that Lisa-Jo, the main woman, pics a topic or word and you are then to set your timer for 5 minutes and just write.  write what ever comes to your heart within that 5 minutes, no editing, no worries, just free writing and then you link it to her post and let the encouragement flow!  i however will not be participating in that aspect of it as i would then need to link this post and i don't post on my blog often enough to do that...at least right now.  maybe i will in the future but for now not gonna happen.  but i wanted to try it and this is what came out.  the word for this friday was Afraid.


i've never been one to be afraid of the dark not even as a little kid (at least as i recall, maybe i was) but i am afraid of the darkness within my heart.  there are days, like today, where i just wake up feeling dark.  which leads me to be mean or unloving/uncaring to those that i DO love like my awesome twin boys and my awesome husband.  there is no reason for my behavior and the only explanation is that i am a sinner through and through and i need Jesus every minute of every day.  He is the light to my darkness so that i need not be afraid, with His light no darkness can stand not even in the darkest places of my heart.