Afraid

so i've never attempted this before but it's something called Five Minute Friday that my sis in law does over here (she's an incredible person and writer, just FYI).  there are a group of women that are a part of it and encourage one another through their writing and comments on each others writings.  the idea is that Lisa-Jo, the main woman, pics a topic or word and you are then to set your timer for 5 minutes and just write.  write what ever comes to your heart within that 5 minutes, no editing, no worries, just free writing and then you link it to her post and let the encouragement flow!  i however will not be participating in that aspect of it as i would then need to link this post and i don't post on my blog often enough to do that...at least right now.  maybe i will in the future but for now not gonna happen.  but i wanted to try it and this is what came out.  the word for this friday was Afraid.


i've never been one to be afraid of the dark not even as a little kid (at least as i recall, maybe i was) but i am afraid of the darkness within my heart.  there are days, like today, where i just wake up feeling dark.  which leads me to be mean or unloving/uncaring to those that i DO love like my awesome twin boys and my awesome husband.  there is no reason for my behavior and the only explanation is that i am a sinner through and through and i need Jesus every minute of every day.  He is the light to my darkness so that i need not be afraid, with His light no darkness can stand not even in the darkest places of my heart.