awake one long night

from my journal march 8, 2009 at 3:00am

with a sigh goes my prayer, Holy Spirit interpret what you hear. Jesus Your blood covers all, please lift me up no matter how much i fall. i know You are doing some great work within me, to make me ever more like Thee. so before the burning alter i stand, willing to offer myself again and again. until the work You have started is complete and i lay everything always at Your feet. then Your blessings will all pour out and i will no longer be filled with doubt. on that day i will truly understand that i am always and forever in Your loving hands.

Am I Lovey?

Am I lovely? Trying to capture this beauty that I know lies somewhere deep within. "You are a strong woman" they say. Am I? How can you tell? What is it that you see? It cannot be this same woman who feels so alone in a crowded room or the one who, even among friends, feels abandoned. No it cannot be her. Not the woman who brings nothing but frustration and hardship to her husband. Nor the woman who cries for the loss of something she's never had. Certainly it is not her. How can it be? Am I lovely? Where is this beauty within? I cannot find it, but it must be here, I just know it is, somewhere...