way crazy dream...

so i've been going through some old journals and making digital copies of them to have and they date as far back as 1998 when i was 16 and go through present day.  well i came across something this evening that i wrote in August of 2002.  it was a dream i had apparently that made enough impact for me to write it down.  you'll see why...it's totally cray cray!

August 2002 –(a dream I had) I was with a bunch of people from my church ECPC (East Cobb Presbyterian Church) and we were in this forest somewhere in Africa, I think.  There were some natives around too but we all knew each other.  We were walking around in the forest and all around people had little bonfires going for no particular reason.  Then one of the natives cries out “Sacrifice!” at the top of his lungs.  Somehow I knew I was to be the one sacrificed, so I walked towards the cliff where it was to be held.  I came out of the forest into a wide open area.  The ground before me was black, charred like someone had burned it.  It crunched beneath my feet as I walked towards the edge of the cliff.  The sky was grey like it was going to storm.  As I got closer to the cliffs edge I saw three crosses lying on the ground, they were charred like the grass around them.  I laid down on the one in the middle, not on my back but on my stomach and stretched my arms out to the length of the cross and gripped the edges.  It was then that I felt someone tying a rope around my ankles and the cross, my wrists were soon bound as well.  As this was happening, I noticed that there were two men on the crosses on either side of me that were being bound in the same manner.  At this time the wind picked up and was blowing violently as if in a storm.  The men that had bound us now pushed us over the edge of the cliff and slowly backed away yet we did not fall, the wind held us in place.  As we were suspended in the air another man walked towards us.  The clouds in the sky above us where now turning a deep shade of red but we showed no fear.  The man then cries out “Sacrifice!” over and over and over, screaming with all his might.  The wind grew more violent and the debris tore away at our skin yet we remained stationary.  The sky above us began to open up and bolts of lightning shot out all around us.  It was then that I realized there was someone else on my cross, clinging to me on my back.  His hands were out stretched holding mine, sheltering me.  The lightning then began to strike at us but I could feel none of it.  All the while the man on the cliff was still crying “Sacrifice!” Then just as quickly as it had started, the lightning stopped, there was no more debris and the red sky had faded to grey again.  The next thing I remember is lying on the ground feeling the ropes around my wrists and ankles being loosened and taken away and the man who had sheltered me being laid beside me.  His skin was black and burnt, I wept for Him, He had been my only love, My Savior.  And then I woke up.

Afraid

so i've never attempted this before but it's something called Five Minute Friday that my sis in law does over here (she's an incredible person and writer, just FYI).  there are a group of women that are a part of it and encourage one another through their writing and comments on each others writings.  the idea is that Lisa-Jo, the main woman, pics a topic or word and you are then to set your timer for 5 minutes and just write.  write what ever comes to your heart within that 5 minutes, no editing, no worries, just free writing and then you link it to her post and let the encouragement flow!  i however will not be participating in that aspect of it as i would then need to link this post and i don't post on my blog often enough to do that...at least right now.  maybe i will in the future but for now not gonna happen.  but i wanted to try it and this is what came out.  the word for this friday was Afraid.


i've never been one to be afraid of the dark not even as a little kid (at least as i recall, maybe i was) but i am afraid of the darkness within my heart.  there are days, like today, where i just wake up feeling dark.  which leads me to be mean or unloving/uncaring to those that i DO love like my awesome twin boys and my awesome husband.  there is no reason for my behavior and the only explanation is that i am a sinner through and through and i need Jesus every minute of every day.  He is the light to my darkness so that i need not be afraid, with His light no darkness can stand not even in the darkest places of my heart. 

Randomness Beginnings

okay as promised, here's is what i've got so far on how Cora and Gavin meet.  keep in mind i've not yet gotten them to the part that I posted before but i'm working my way there.  it's hard for me to piece scenes together but i think it's getting there.  anyways, here ya go, enjoy! :-P


            I ran to my younger sister’s side when the soldiers burst through the doors of the convents sanctuary.

“Kat,” I whispered while the other sisters scrambled around us, “you mustn’t let them find out we are related.”  I put my hands firmly on her shoulders, “Promise me.”  I gave her a quick shake to get her attention off the chaos around us and look me in the eyes. “Promise me Kat, whatever happens, promise me you’ll keep silent.”

“Cora.”  I gave her a sharp look.  “I promise.”

“You’ll be safe here; the sisters will take care of you.” I tried reassuring her.

“And if father comes?” She asked.

“He wants you safe that’s all you need to worry about.”  I whispered.

Then one of the men that broke into the sanctuary started yelling orders at us, “Everyone in a line, now!” 

Most of the sisters were frightened by the intrusion, I tried to play the part as well but I wasn’t afraid.  I grabbed Kat’s hand and rushed to where the line was being formed, grabbing another sisters hand upon reaching it to hopefully show impartiality.  The man yelling orders came closer to examine us.  He was taller than me by a few inches, muscular with sandy blonde hair cropped short.  I would have thought him handsome under different circumstances. 

“You, “he pointed at Kat, “come here.” 

He motioned for her to stand next to him while looking the rest of us over.  She looked at me out of the corner of her eye.  I squeezed her hand and gave the slightest nod of my head to let her know it was okay.  She took a deep breath, let go of my hand and walked over to him.  He gazed at her as she walked to him then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand as if satisfied with his selection.  My blood burned and I wanted to take his life but just as the thought entered my mind he looked right at me, as if waiting to see my reaction to his choice.  Had he seen us together?  I intentionally kept his gaze to assess the sort of man he was and if he would have noticed us before.  His lips curved into a slight smile and gave me my answer.

He broke eye contact first which gave me a chance to search him and observe my surroundings, my options for protecting my sister.  The convent sisters were now huddled in a group just behind me and the man was in the process of tying Kat’s hands together. 

“So, that’s the sort of man you are, is it?” I said with spite in my voice hoping it would strike a nerve.  It worked.  He stopped tying her hands and turned towards me.

“And what kind of man would that be?” He asked with a hint of annoyance. 

“I just thought, given your appearance,” I looked him up and down and smiled seductively at him, “that you’d rather have a woman accompany you, not a child.”  He looked me over once and gave me a cruel smile before speaking.

“You’re right, I would rather have a woman,” he paused, taking a step closer to me, “but I can sell her as a slave and aside from the obvious, what do you have to offer me that’s more valuable than gold?”

“I am a skilled fighter and beside that, you wouldn’t get much gold selling her.  Just look at her, she’s scrawny, malnourished, no muscle, you’d be lucky to negotiate seventy-five pieces of gold for a boy like that let alone a girl at any slave trade.”  I could feel the heat from Kat’s eyes glaring at me.  I met her eyes, you know I mean nothing by it, sister, just trying to keep you safe.

“You have a quick tongue, I’ll give you that. “ He scoffed then asked intrigued.  “How are you with a sword?”  I laughed to myself, it worked!

“Better than you might think.  Let the girl go and I’ll show you how proficient I am personally.” I smiled playfully.  He untied Kat and seeing I had no sword gave me one from the soldier that he’d ordered over to initially take Kat away then gave that same soldier his sword.  He was a large man but nothing I couldn’t handle.  Kat, you need to leave here now.  Take refuge within the convent and whatever happens, stay inside.  I saw her nod out of the corner of my and then she was gone, I breathed a sigh of relief then prepared myself for tackling this mountain of a man.

“Then prove yourself.”  He laughed and gestured one hand toward the same soldier he’d given his sword. 

He slowly stepped out in front of me, sword in hand using it like a cane, smirking, as if I were easy prey.  With one hand I lifted my sword vertically in front of me, in a sort of salute, then swung it down, turning it quickly in my hand while getting into a fighting stance.  I waited for him to make the first move, which he eventually did by taking a swipe at my legs.  It was easy enough to dodge but I could tell he was holding back.  So I lifted my sword over my head, gripped with both hands and lunged at him bringing the sword down as I lunged.  He was able to block it but it caught him off guard just enough which allowed me to bring him to his knees.  While he was on his knees I kicked him in the chest and knocked him to the ground and quickly put my swords point to his neck, drawing a small amount of blood before moving it away.  It was over faster than either he or his commander had thought it would be.

“Impressive,” I eyed him proudly he scoffed then yelled to his soldier who was still on the ground, giving him a kick as he stood, “Get up, fool!”  Directing his attention back to me, “I presume you have skills other than swinging a sword around?” It was more of a statement than a question as he tossed a bow to me while saying it.

“Where’s my target?” Was all I said before I saw the soldier I’d bested with the sword dragging a man covered in filth toward a nearby tree.  “There is your target! “  He let out a vile laugh, keeping intense eye contact with me to see if I’d waiver, “Unless of course you don’t believe in killing innocent people.”

As he was saying this, a young woman, about my age came running, toward the filthy man appearing to be searching for someone.  She looked quite horrified to see me with a bow strung with an arrow aiming at the man, until I realized it wasn’t me she was looking at, it was the commander.  I assumed she was in some way connected to the commander, be it sister, wife, lover or what have you, so I made a quick decision to aim my arrow at her and then gave him my answer.

Before losing my arrow, with a wild look in my eyes, “That’s just it,” I paused and looked at the woman, giving him a chance to see my mind then looked back to him adding a fierce smile to my look, “I don’t believe anyone is innocent.” 

As I let the arrow fly from my hand I could see the horror in his face as he shouted, “NOOO!!” and kicked the end of the bow in hopes of making me miss my shot.  I wasn’t actually going to let the arrow kill the woman but I wanted it to be close.  I used my telepathy skills to guide the arrow just past her head, deeply grazing her check before it struck the tree behind her, she let out a shriek and fainted.  The commander turned towards me as if to strike me but thought better of it and ran to the woman’s aid.  He picked her up and carried her to a waiting caravan and put her in the back of one of the carriages before growling orders at his men to tie me up and put me on the back of his horse.

Once they were done looting provisions from the convent, I was loosely tied up, sitting behind the commander on his horse at the back of his regiment.  I looked back at the convent one last time and saw Kat peeking out the front gate.  It had been our home for the last three months and it was a little sad to leave it behind, especially since I didn’t know when I’d see my sister again.  She raised her arm up to wave, I smiled solemnly and turned away so she wouldn’t see the tears that fell.

It was dusk before we reached their well established encampment.  There were a lot of tents set up, what looked to be a whole army’s worth, with three larger tents in the center of the rest.  I assumed the one we were heading towards was this commander’s tent and one of the other two was probably the meeting tent, but what was the third large tent for?  Perhaps it was for the woman I’d grazed with the arrow.  When we arrived at the commander’s tent, he hastily got off the horse, brusquely helped me down and shuffled me inside as if to hide me away.  He sat me in a chair and surprisingly untied me, grabbed a couple of glasses and set them on the table next to me, then looked around for something to fill them with and upon finding an empty bottle, glared at me and grabbed both my shoulders hard.

“Do not leave this tent.”  I said nothing in reply so he turned and left quickly.  After he’d been gone a few minutes I peeked outside the tent to see if there was an easy way to escape.  As I was looking around I saw the woman I’d grazed with an arrow walk into the tent that was just a few yards away from the one I was in followed by a rather burly man.  He looked my way before entering the tent behind her and stared for a moment.  He looked angry like he knew her wound was my fault, so I ducked back inside the commander’s tent to avoid a confrontation with him.  I sat back down in the chair I had previously been in and no sooner than I’d sat down, the commander rushed in with a small bottle of rum.

I downed the first glass he poured a little more quickly than he expected still a little shaken from the other mans look.  He smiled greedily at me and poured me another glass after first finishing his.  I could only guess what his plans for me were once the bottle was empty.  I just had to be sure he drank the lions share without noticing I’d slowed down or stopped all together.  He never spoke while he was drinking, he just stared at me every so often as he slowly paced the tent stumbling as he went, removing his boots and jacket then running his hand through his disheveled hair and letting out a long sigh before slumping into the chair across from me.  He drank another glass; eyeing me the whole time then awkwardly slammed it on the table next to us.  I stood slowly from my chair and thought it best not to make eye contact with him yet but poured the last bit of rum in his glass.  I put it in his hand and helped him out of his chair and walked him over to the bed, he took a few sips from the glass and sat hard on the bed facing me.  He swayed even though he was sitting, I knew then he’d had enough to drink where he wouldn’t remember what we did or didn’t do tonight.

I unbuttoned and removed his shirt then pulled off the outer part of my dress leaving the slip underneath on.  His eyes blinked heavily as he watched me and he smiled with delight as I sauntered over to him and laid him back on the bed.  He was an attractive man in face and body and losing myself in the moment, having had too much to drink, I leaned down and kissed him lightly.  His hands twisted through my hair and pulled me closer he was gentle which caught me off guard.  It wasn’t as unpleasant as I thought it would be with him either so I lingered there and a moment longer and as I did so, he passed out.

I sighed then rolled off of him onto the bed next to him and laid there for a while before moving.  There was a rug made out of a bear skin on the ground next to his bed that I was going to make my bed tonight so I grabbed one of the pillows off the bed, found another blanket and curled up on the ground, my back facing the opening of the tent.  Sometime after I’d lain down on the ground I heard the tent flap open quietly with a man’s voice following it.

“Robert!” he hissed sharply, then again a little louder, “Robert! Get up you lazy…” He trailed off and I guessed it was because he saw me laying there.  I didn’t move, pretending to be asleep, when I heard the tent flap close gently.  I soon fell asleep and I slept surprisingly well for being on the ground.

I woke up when I heard the man I now knew as Robert stirring.  Moving as quickly and quietly as I could, I crawled in bed next to him bringing the pillow and blanket with me.  Feeling my movement he draped his arm over my stomach with a grunt.  Seconds later the tent flap flung open and in walked the burly man I’d seen with the woman last night.

“Robert!” The burly man said loudly.  I recognized his voice; it was calmer this morning that it had been last night.

Robert woke startled when he’d heard his name; fumbling for the sword he usually kept by his bedside.  He gave up the quest when he saw who the voice belonged to and rolling his eyes at the man sat up before speaking.

“What do you want, Gavin?  Can’t you see I’m busy?” He said, gesturing towards me.  I sat up pulling the blanket up to my chest and looked at the end of the bed avoiding the eyes I knew were watching me now.

“Yes, I can see the two of you were in the middle of a wild game of sleeping.” He said with a smirk, I smiled to myself. “Now, if you are done with your whore, get up, we need to talk.”  I grimaced at the use of the word whore towards me, it sounded as if he’d spit it out.  The tent opened suddenly again and in rushed the woman I’d struck with an arrow.

“Gavin, husband, it’s not his…” She stopped speaking when she saw me sitting, half dressed, next to Robert on the bed.  Her face went white, “Oh, I’m sorry.” She squeaked out.  When she turned to leave I thought I saw tears in her eyes.

Robert chuckled to himself before getting out of bed.  He grabbed a shirt and pushed past Gavin to leave the tent.  Gavin stood there for a moment before he followed Robert out.  I made myself look at him before he left, I had nothing to be ashamed of so there was no reason to hide my face from him.  I took a deep breath in and then met his gaze, he was strikingly handsome, more so than Robert.  His jaw tightened for a brief second when our eyes met, and then he turned and ducked out of the tent.  I let out the breath I was holding then quickly got up and threw my crumpled dress on and followed him out of the tent.  I needed to find the woman.

couldn't resist

well, i had to post this one too.  it's not from a picture but from a video game (same game i saw the picture in) and was heavily inspired by the game itself.  also, not all the words are mine, some were taken from the opening sequence of the game, Final Fantasy VIII.  also wrote this about ten years ago.


Final Fantasy

I stand in a field of flowers.  I'll be here...I'll be waiting...here...I'll be waiting...for you...so if you come here...you'll find me...I promise.

    In my fantasy you hold me, you hold me close to you.  And you can't express your feelings for me because you're afraid, afraid of being alone.  But I see the longing inside you and I won't let you go alone, so don't be afraid anymore.  Don't fight the feelings within, don't shut me out and leave me all alone again.

I stand in a field of flowers.  I'll be here...I'll be waiting...here..I'll be waiting...for you...so if you come here...you'll find me...I promise.

    In my fantasy what have I become?  I can feel her power surging inside, always trying to gain control; my strength lessens with every encounter.  I try so hard to fight her but she takes over, controlling my every move.  Locked inside Pandora's box with no hope of escape; a world of pain is laid before me, caused by the evil hidden within.

I stand in a field of flowers.  I'll be here...I'll be waiting...here...I'll be waiting...for you...so if you come here...you'll find me...I promise.

    In my fantasy you rescue me.  I hear you calling and I try to break free but something holds me back.  I'm scared; please don't leave me here...alone.  Fighting for me you break through my restraints.  I'm falling and you run to catch me, I land safely in your arms.  Hold me for just a little longer; I'm so afraid...of being alone.

I stand in a field of flowers.  I'll be here...I'll be waiting...here...I'll be waiting...for you...so if you come here...you'll find me...I promise.

    In my fantasy everything is changing so fast.  As long as you're here, I'll never be alone...so I'll be here...I'll be waiting...and if you come here...you'll find me...I promise.  This my final fantasy.

hi again!

so i've been away for a while, literally and figuratively.  the figuratively not so much by choice as much by life.  the boys have been teething non stop these days it seems, which is overwhelming for them and me!  lots of fussing to be had by all for sure, ugh.  in any case, i've been trying to write more to the beginnings of this random story that's in my head and well, it's hard.  not because i don't know the basics of their story, more because i'm not sure how to piece it together in a way that sounds right.  i don't claim to be a great writer but shouldn't i at least like my own stuff?  well i don't, at the moment.  so, i'm still working on it...months later...HA! :-P  not that anybody reads my blog anyway lol so i guess it's cool that it's been a long time since i posted something.  now to leave you with something to read. i wrote this from a picture.  here you go!  btw i wrote it about ten years ago. (yea i know, i've got nothing new :-P)


    We stood in the middle of the ocean in a long awaited embrace.  Nothing around us as far as the eye could see except the still blue waters.  There we stood, yes, we stood, with the water coming up to just above our knees.  Your guess is as good as ours as to how that was possible, it yet remains a mystery to us as well.  But that was the furthest thing from our thoughts.
    The moon was rising in the heavens giving us the only light we had that night.  The stars were covered by clouds but the moon somehow escaped their covering creating creating a brilliant light for us among the clouds and a radiant reflection on the waters surrounding us.  And there we stood in the midst of this beautiful scene, locked in our embrace...

Randomness so far

Okay this is what I have so far.  I thought I'd post it all together so you don't have to search the blog to find it.  Maybe one day I'll organize it and put all my "story" writings in one spot so they are easier to locate.  Anyways, still working on the back story for these two.  Have had family in town and been distracted by my boys lately so this is just the rest of what I'd already started posting here.  Enjoy...or don't...whatevs! :-P 

I heard him groaning and looked over at him.  He was starting to stir after four days of being unconscious.  He sat up looking puzzled,

“Where are we?  What’s that sound?” 

“We’re in a cave near a lagoon with waterfall.  The river runs from here into your kingdom.  Do you remember anything that happened?” I asked.  He thought for a moment. 

“I remember my brother standing over me with his sword drawn and my wife was lying somewhere nearby, injured and the baby…” He groaned again and grabbed his left side.  “I guess he tried to stab me.” 

I cut him off, “No, Gavin, he did stab you and almost killed you.” 

“Yes.  I remember.  What happened to my wife?  Is she safe?  What of the baby?” 

“Your wife is alive.  And they believe the child is alive also, but.” I paused, not sure how much I should tell him.

“             What?” 

“I couldn’t heal your wife and save the baby…“ I took a deep breath and let it out, “and you.  I’m sorry.” 

He put his head in his hands.  “You chose to save me and not my child, why?”

I didn’t have the heart to tell him the child wasn’t his not so soon after what had happened to him.  His own brother betrayed him, slept with his wife conceiving a child with her, stabbed him and left him for dead just so that he could be the one to sit on the throne when their ailing father died, so I didn’t answer. 

He looked up at me, “Why?” There was anger in his voice now. 

“I cannot say.  Not yet.” He tried to stand.

“No, you mustn’t or you’ll tear the...” It was too late he was already bleeding as I rushed over to him.  “Here, lean on me.”  I helped him stand and we walked to the bank of the lagoon.  I sat him on a rock.  “Please, be still and sit while I get something to fix this with.”

He wouldn’t look at me but he stayed where I put him and for that I was thankful as I hurried back to the cave.  Even with all my skills as a healer, it took everything in me to keep him from dying let alone heal the gaping hole his brother’s sword left in him while also trying to heal his wife.  I found what I needed in my satchel and tore some cloth off my skirt to use to wash and wrap his wound.  I started out of the cave, his back was facing me.  His shoulders were broad, muscular.  I swallowed hard and continued toward him, stopping to wet the cloth from my skirt in the water.  He watched me now as I sat on my knees in front of him and wrung out the cloth.  Neither of us spoke.  I tried not to glance at him as I cleaned his wound and stopped the bleeding.  I could see him taking slow deep breaths to manage his pain.  I made an effort to be gentle as I put my hands over the gash but when I touched him a shock went through me and I jerked my hands away.  I looked up at him for the first time since I’d sat down in front of him, he was very handsome and it caught my breath.  He hadn’t moved, maybe he didn’t feel it, did I imagine that? 

“Everything alright?” he asked.  Shaking my head and avoiding his question, I put my hands back on his wound, “This may hurt.” 

I felt his stomach tense up before the healing force left me and went into him.  His breath quickened as did mine.  My hands were shaking, it’s working!  I saw his wound begin to heal and then it stopped.  I moved my hands away.  He looked down at me but I could only look at the hole still in his side.  He put his index finger in the gash, winced a little then chuckled to himself.

“That’s amazing!” he said still laughing.  I stared at him for a moment.  He seemed so pleased with what I’d managed to repair that I couldn’t help but smile a little. 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t heal it completely.” I looked down at my hands in my lap and fidgeted with a string from my torn skirt.

“Nonsense,” He stood slowly, looked up at the sky then closed his eyes. “Thank you, Cora.” He said as he put his hand down to help me up.  I grasped it and stood with him until he began sniffing the air.

“Is that me?” He asked with his nose turned up.  I laughed.

“Yes, I’m afraid so.  You have been unconscious for four days and I certainly wasn’t going to assume it was okay for me to bathe you.” I said holding back a smile. 

He frowned and started walking towards the lagoon.  I went back to the cave and grabbed the bar of soap I kept in my satchel and followed after him figuring he might want to do more than just splash water on himself.  He was removing his shirt and half way in the water when I got there.  I stopped short as he pulled his shirt off and I saw his upper body.  It was like his muscles had been carved onto him, he was statuesque and I couldn’t help but admire him.  He cleared his throat when he saw I was standing there gaping at him.  I blushed and sheepishly continued forward into the water until I was standing about a foot or so from him.

“Here, I thought you might like to actually bathe.”  I avoided eye contact as I broke the bar in two and handed him half.  “I thought I’d wash our clothes and maybe bathe too, over there.” I pointed to a place across the lagoon hidden behind some boulders. “You’ll have some privacy and so will I.”  My eyes kept wandering back to his chest as I spoke which made it hard to concentrate on much else.  I looked up at him when he took his half of the soap.  Then something strange took place.  I flung my arms around his neck and kissed him.  His muscular arms folded around me crushed my body to his as he continued to kiss me softly then with more zeal.  Time passed slowly and held us in this embrace and I longed for more.   A shiver went down my spine.

“Are you okay?”  I heard him speak but it took me a minute to realize what had occurred and even then I wasn’t so sure.  I stared at him for a while longer before I could catch my breath enough to speak.

“Yes, I’m fine.” I faked an awkward smile.  “I’m just going to go wash up now.” I grabbed his shirt that was floating nearby and hurriedly made my way across the lagoon.

“Thanks for the soap!” He shouted to me as I practically ran from him. 

When I reached the other side of the lagoon I leaned my back up against one of the boulders that blocked my view of this burly man and let out a long sigh.  What was that?  I closed my eyes playing the scene over again in my head trying to make sense of it.  Opening my eyes I decided to let it go, sighed again and removed the outer part of my dress to wash it, leaving my underskirt on incase Gavin were to venture over here.

I had just finished washing our clothes and was starting to clean myself when I heard Gavin approach.  I slipped the straps of my underskirt back over my shoulders and looked behind me.  He was smiling.  As he walked to me I turned to face him, one of his arms was stretched out towards my head.

“You have something,” he picked at my hair, “some twigs in your hair.”  He chuckled.  Immediately my hands flew up to my head to check if there was more debris hanging out up there, thankfully there wasn’t.  How embarrassing. 

“Thanks.”  I smiled.  He stepped closer then stopped.

“I, um, I just wanted to give you back your soap.” He said as he awkwardly handed me his broken half.

“Oh, right, of course.” I laughed quietly trying my best to avoid exploring his body with my eyes.  I gave him his clean shirt he smiled in thanks and headed back toward the cave. 

“I’m going back to start a fire for us.  The weather will be cold tonight.” He called over his shoulder as he left.  I stood there puzzled as to how he knew this since it had been quite warm the last few days and nights.  I didn’t follow after him right away like I wanted to, I thought it best to give myself time apart from him so there weren’t any more visions or whatever it was.  Instead I took a leisurely swim around the lagoon.  When I thought enough time had passed I made my way back to the cavern.

Daylight was fading upon my arrival and I noticed that Gavin wasn’t there but he’d managed to get a fire going.  Oh good, it’s starting to get a little chilly out here.  I set my wet clothes on a large fallen tree trunk that he had started the fire by and sat down next to them to keep myself warm.  The fire must have put me in a daze because I didn’t notice when Gavin returned from wherever he’d gone.  He was sitting next to me with his forearms resting on his thighs and his lips pressed together in thought. 

“Thank you for starting a fire.”  I smiled at him and observed his features in the firelight.  He looked at me and returned my smile.

“You’re welcome.”  He cleared his throat as if to say more then shifted uncomfortably to avoid saying whatever it was that was on his mind and went back to watching the fire.

“Where did you go?” I asked, wondering why it felt awkward between us all of the sudden.

“Hmm?”  He was very distracted.

“You weren’t here when I came in from swimming.” I pressed, determined to break this weird awkwardness.

“Oh, I was walking the grounds around the lagoon to see how vulnerable we would be to anyone finding us.”  He said avoiding eye contact.

“And?”

“I think we will be fine for now but we probably shouldn’t stay here.  You did well picking this spot.”  He said, looking at me this time.

“Thank you.  I agree, we should move on soon but your wound needs a few more days to heal before we can start traveling.”  A gust of wind swept up behind us caught my breath and made me shiver.  Instinctively he moved closer to me but then stood up and walked into the cave.  He came back out moments later with the two blankets I had obtained from the nearby village while he was unconscious and wrapped one around me before sitting down again.  He wrapped the other blanket half around himself and half around me then pulled me closer to him.  I was glad of the warmth and laid my head on his shoulder.  When I shivered again, he grabbed my legs, laid them across his lap and hugged them to his body.  It was pleasant being in his sturdy arms so I didn’t fight him.

I must have fallen asleep because I woke up, sometime in the night, on the floor of the cave next to another fire only this one was smaller.  I was about to sit up when I felt a heavy weight draped over my side.  I moved one of the blankets and saw that it was Gavin’s arm.  I smiled to myself he was still a gentleman as he’d left one of the blankets between us covering me before lying down with me.  He began to stir and gently started pulling me closer to him, I stopped him which woke him and he sat up.

“I’m sorry, I was only trying to.”  I sat up and cut him off, “Shh, it’s ok.” I whispered then moved the blanket that was only on me and put it over both of us and adjusted the one he’d been using so that it too was over us and lay back down on my side.  He also laid down, this time on his back with one arm, the one closest to me, behind his head and let out a long sigh.  I rolled to face him and sat up on my elbow, my head resting in my hand, he was looking up at the sky with his lips parted, his chest rising and falling with his soft breathing.  Oh how I wanted to press my lips to his.  He looked at me then as if he’d heard my thought and smiled warmly.

“Thank you.” He said rolling to his side, resting on his elbow.

“For what?”  I asked furrowing my brow confused.

“For sharing your warmth with me.”  He chuckled softly while looking down at his hands and picking at his fingers, he was holding something back.

“Oh,” I laughed nervously, “of course, I mean I want to stay warm too.” I said while watching his hands waiting for him to say what was making him act so uneasy.

“Earlier, when you gave me the soap…”  He paused considering whether he should say more and then decided to, “Your eyes, it looked like,” he struggled with finding words, my heart stopped, “you looked like you were in a haze or trance or something.”  My eyes widened, my heart was racing now and I quickly glanced up at him to see if he noticed, thankfully he seemed unaware, I sighed in relief.  How do I explain this without saying too much?  

“Yea, uh, I get these visions sometimes when I touch people.  It’s usually nothing more than a quick flash of an image or two, generally of what the other person is feeling or maybe wants.”

“It seemed to be intense, whatever it was.” He said, pressing for more information.

 “It was.  It was very intense.” I said.  As I recalled the vision of the two of us my breath quickened.  He noticed.

“So what did you see?” He asked very bluntly which surprised me a little.

I looked him directly in the eyes, “Um, nothing, at least nothing for you to be concerned with.”  I looked away before I could finish.

Not satisfied with my answer, “An intense nothing, huh?” he asked incredulously.  I peeked up at him then turned my face away quickly.  “So you didn’t see you put your arms around my neck and kiss me then?”  My mouth dropped open and my eyes widened again as I turned to stare at him.

“You saw that?” I asked bewildered. 

“Yes.” He said then added a little discouraged, “You didn’t?”  His face was tense, I had to look away to compose myself.

“That is what I saw, but…” Do I tell him there’s more?  As if hearing my thoughts he spoke up.

“But there’s more.”  It wasn’t a question, he stated it as fact.  How did he know?

“Yes.”  I whispered.  “How did you..?”

“To be honest,” He cut me off and let out a deep breath before continuing, “I was disappointed when I realized it hadn’t happened.” I swallowed hard, my eyes searching his face.

“What?” I didn’t have time to finish my question before he brushed the hair out of my face and put his hand behind my head and leaned in to kiss me.